Let me get one thing out before I continue: I don't drink. I am a firm believer in the "No drinking until 21", but I'm not opposed to those who do drink under age. As much as I don't believe it's right, I don't fight people about it. I also have other reasons as to why I don't drink, but I won't go into detail about it.
Anyways... so, I'm making an effort to actually leave my room this year and not be a complete hermit (its actually a little funny to see peoples' reactions to me being at a party). I usually carry around a water or a soda just so I don't get dehydrated. So yeah...
Then there's this guy. In the past, like for a while now, I've been making a big deal about no dating. I'm not interested in it, nor do I want to be in one. But that doesn't mean I'm closed off to it or I'm against romance (as a matter of fact, for those who know me well, most of what I do is romance XD).
So this guy... I had a crush on him last year. Up until the point that my friend (who's friends with him) told me he has a girlfriend. So automatic "no touchy". But that didn't stop me from thinking he's cute. Because he is.
Me being me, I'm dressed in jeans and a pull over thingy with a dark-colored cami under it. I'm that awesome. I don't get overly dressed up for these things... I mean, everyone is drunk. SO ANYWAYS, this boy sees me, waves at me, and then walks over to me. And talks to me. Like.... yeah. It took me a while to convince him that I've only been at my school for two years and that I wasn't a senior.
I still think he was slightly drunk, but he insisted that he'd only had about 1-2 beers and wasn't tipsy at all. ... I didn't believe him, but that's okay.
So red flag number one: while talking, he only really spoke to /me/, and no one else around me.
Red flag number two: while talking to me, he would lean really close so that there wasn't much space between us.
Now, I had to ask myself if I had friended him on Facebook (I hadn't), and I was curious to see if he still had a girlfriend. But me being me, I was still being cautious and not stepping over any lines. So I kept a casual conversation going. Then things started to get a little... weird for me, at least XD
At some point, he grabbed my arm (not like violently, like, reassuringly) and told me that he would be right back and that he had to go find his roommate and make sure that he was okay. So he smiled and slowly walked away. Me, I went, "O-okay."
I was a little upset that he walked away, and I continued being the wall-flower of the party and hung out by the light switch.
He eventually came back and continued to talk to me, and like... every time he went to go check on his roommate, he would touch some part of my arm or my back and reassure me that he was going to be right back and that I shouldn't go anywhere. And if I was going to leave, I should tell him.
I eventually left without saying goodbye because I had to take care of my own roommate, so yeah.... I ended up friending him on facebook and found out that he's still dating the same girl. Guess who did a major face-plant on her desk and grumbled about it for the next week?
A few weeks later (so this would have been exactly a week ago now), he was at another party that I was at. Of course, tonight I heard that people are spreading rumors about me AGAIN about me "sleeping with a freshman", which isn't true... someone misinterpreted the meaning of "Hey So-and-so, you ready to go?" BUT ANYWAYS, that's besides the point.
So, I saw him standing on the upper floor of this apartment, and I called up to him, and he told me to come up to talk to him. So I did...
Before I continue: what I was wearing. I was wearing this kinda-short-but-not-really black dress with a green scarf around my arms and a black little purse (I was dressed up as the complete opposite of me (aka, a vocalist, according to my roommate)). My dress was sleeveless and kind of a halter-top, and was extremely low cut (... well, it like.... ... I can't describe dresses well, can I?)
Now, said boy and I were talking for a little while. Somewhere in the midst of him talking, he kind of stared at me and went, "Wow, you look really nice tonight."
I had no idea how to react, so I did my best to smile nicely and reply with a pleasant "thank you~"
Then, a couple of his friends walked by, and he was all, "Well, I'm going to hit another two parties... but I'll be back!" And proceeds to place a hand on my shoulder. He keeps his hand there and just kind of... rubs my shoulder. And his smiiiile. His genuine smile DX
Killer. KILLER. KIIIIILLLLER. The bitch in me was screaming to make a move, but I knew better. I'm not going to be like, "DUDE, IWANTTOMAKEOUTWITHYOU" and jump all over him. I just smiled and giggled and shit like that. I'm not going to cross over any lines, no matter HOW bad I want to.
So, as he's leaving, he turns to me and goes, "You have my cell number, right?" and I'm like, "Yeeaah... yes! We exchanged numbers a while back because I was joking how I would text you at like, 3 in the morning about how bored I was and how I wouldn't be able to sleep!" (true fact! I never did text him, btw.) And he's all, "Well, if I don't see you again... text me so I know, and like... (pause) You look really nice tonight."
I swear to god that if the lights were on, he'd see how much I was blushing.
So, he ended up coming back, just as the party was like, ending (because the house was being written up for being loud), and he came over and talked to me. He wouldn't stop telling me how nice I looked and wouldn't /stop/ touching me. Like... he had to be touching my shoulder or my arm, or my back.
I believe I failed to mention that every time he went to go somewhere without me, his hand would like, sliiiiide off my arm or back.
So onto part 3 of this story... on thursday, I walked by him in the hallway with the friend that was mentioned earlier on in this rant (the one who told me he was taken already). Of course, my friend walks up to him and like, air humps him. And he takes it (they've been friends for years, so I suppose that its okay to do this?), and I'm just standing there laughing.
He walked by me after, and like.... touches/rubs my arm as he passes.
And I freak out XD (not really, just like.... asfasd)
I had explained the situation to his friend (we're like, besties right now, so all's good), and asked him if he was a flirty drunk, to which he responded "I dunno, actually... I've only been around him once while he was drunk, and I was drunk too, so I wouldn't know :D"
The whole thing is driving me crazy. And it shouldn't really.
But like... what's bothering me is the fact that whenever he and I are at a party, he has to be touching me. And he has a girlfriend. So I so BADLY want to be like, "Dude, I want to like... kiss you so bad right now." But I can't. I'm not that type of person.
a) I don't want to cause a problem with him and his girlfriend.
b) I don't randomly go up to guys I like and kiss them.
c) I'm not a biddy. (if you have no idea what that is, look it up on UrbanDictionary XD) (.. or is it bitty? One of the two.)
I've talked to close friends about this, and some of them say that he's just a friendly person. Very few say that he likes me (the like-like). A couple say that he's just flirtatious.
I've been down this road before... and I HATE being down this road. Can I for ONCE find a guy who's NOT taken and I want to have these feelings for? XD God hates me, I swear. Quit throwing me curveballs, seriously.
I'm not making any moves, I swear. And I'm trying not to over analyze this.... it just bugs me that he has a girlfriend and is just... touching me. Unless a shoulder rub means that he's being friendly, then I'm a completely screwed up person. Or touching my lower back (not the butt).
I really really really want to believe he's being friendly. I really do. Maybe I'm just letting my own feelings get in the way again. Maybe I'm just a poor, confused person. Maybe I just like the idea that a guy is talking to me. And like, doesn't feel uncomfortable with me acting like a kid (which usually comes around as flirting to some people).
... WHAT THE HELL. That whole thing about people thinking I'm going out with a freshman kind of annoys me DX I'm tired of rumors being spread about me, really ;^;
First its me being a slut, and now the slut rumor is coming back... (long story short, some douche bag last year was telling people I slept with my ex, and then wanted to sleep with him...) I dunno. I hope it passes. This isn't fucking high school, people. And if they knew me, they would know that a) I'm not into guys younger than me and b) I don't randomly hook-up with people and c) I'm not that person -_-.
Dude, I haven't even had sex with anyone yet... then again, only certain people know that. I'm not afraid to admit it either... I'm just surprised people think that about me. Oh well. I just shouldn't go to social parties like that again for a while.
....
God, as much as I love College, I hate it at the same time. Mostly because some of the people here are still mentally high schoolers and spread rumors about others... mainly me. And I don't. Know. Why. What a way to start the weekend, right? =|
SO ANYWAYS.
What would you do about said boy? I'm not even sure if I like him and its just like... "Yaaaay, a guy is talking to meeeeee~~" or if its the friend vibe. I don't know. I confuse vibes a lot.
I need help.
I hope the counseling center here on campus gets back to me.
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