Before I go to bed for the night

I was really exhausted earlier tonight... and I think the caffeine from my coffee at 4 PM kicked in again.

So I have some stories to share, since I don't feel like signing onto Skype at the moment just to share my laughter.

1) How a Text Message can make your night great.

I was sitting on my bed reading a webcomic or something (I forget which), and my roommate had JUST gone to sleep. Usually at night, I turn my phone off silent so I can hear the alarm in the morning; usually people don't send me texts.
So I was relaxing when my phone goes off (quite loudly, mind you... which brings the question: why is the volume on max? >.>). Confused, I look at the text message and it reads... "<333" from one of the trombonists in my studio.
Needless to say, I was completely baffled (for multiple reasons). So I wasn't going to respond, but I figured that he probably sent that text to the wrong person... so I texted him back saying "J*****, you do realize you just sent me a text message with hearts in it... right?"
And I waited.... and for my sake, I will continue posting him as J and write the rest of the conversation in script format:

J: Yes. Yes I am. I'm sucking up to you
Me: ... what.
J: Have you committed your extra grab and go to anyone for tomorrow?

And at that point, I did a major facepalm and just LAUGHED. Grab and Go is a thing that our school does around lunchtime; one of the dining halls (from 10:30-4ish) has a system where students can go into a part of the dining hall to make a bagged lunch and eat anywhere on campus (lunches usually consist of Pizza/Sandwich/Wrap, two containers of Jello/Yogurt/Pudding/Pasta Salad/Couscous/etc, a soup, dessert, piece of fruit, and a drink), and you can grab anything you want and GO. Its a cool thing.
Because I have an unlimited meal plan, I can get two bagged lunches. Usually, before I leave the music school to grab my own lunch, I ask people from my studio if they would like me to grab them some food. It started with one person (who bought me outlining pens as a thank you), and the whole thing has almost spread through the entire studio XD
I've been called the "Mother Theresa of the Trombone Studio", which makes me giggle a bit. The original person who I was doing this for, ending up catching after I got my own lunch, so I gave him my cell number so he could text me in advance when he would like me to get him some food.
So today, I called J because one of my friends needed her car jumped (we got stuck quite a distance away from campus today XD We had something to do for one of our classes), so I guess he remembered that he had my cell number and decided to ask me to get him lunch. XD
So the conversation continues:

Me: Pffft, no not yet. Do you want me to get you lunch tomorrow?
J: <333333

I just found the entire thing hysterical.
Of course, then I remembered AFTER I told him I would get him some food that Grab and Go was closed tomorrow, since Thanksgiving Break starts tomorrow (aka, the Dining Hall workers are going off early).
So I felt bad for like... telling him that.
Its a good thing he laughed it off.

... can you guess why I was so confused by the hearts? (why yes, I did like him at some point. He's a very attractive person, and VERY tall. Its unfortunate that I'm not his type ;^; Oh well. There's other fish in the sea, right? ) I did find the whole thing funny though. I did seriously think though that he texted the wrong person at first XD

2) I nearly lost it in Band the other day.

We're playing this piece in band that has the trombonists (rather, the majority, if not ENTIRETY of the low brass section) sit out in SILENCE for 80 measures of rest in the beginning, and the close to 200 measures of rest RIGHT SMACKDAB in the middle. And guess which sections we were rehearsing? The ones we don't play in. \o/
I nearly went insane during that rehearsal. I was so bored.
So anyways, that's not the story I was going to tell.
There's around... 7 Tenor trombonists and 1 Bass (I'm Sixth chair) in the Symphonic Band. So, the guy who sits 5th Chair wasn't in that rehearsal (I think he was sick, which is unfortunate), so there was an empty seat between myself and the 4th chair. 4th chair dude at some point decided to rest his arm on the empty chair, so his hand was kind of dangling in the air (... that probably made no sense. Pretend you understand). So, 3rd chair starts motioning some sort of.... I don't know, cryptic message to me.
At first, I thought I wasn't the only one losing it.
After about 20 minutes of trying to figure out what he was saying, I figured it out: he was telling me to grab 4th's hand.
Unless he was trying to set us up (which I highly doubt), I kind of gave him the O_o look, and had to try and explain that a) I was a chick and b) 4th is a dude. Girl grabbing guy's hand = unwarranted signals. Besides, it would have been hilarious if 3rd did it, but it would have been just plain awkward for me.

4th is the guy who let me have the solo in one of our pieces for Trombone Troupe the other night, btw. It made me happy. He's a very sweet person (at least, from what I can tell).

3) I'm insane.

I'm taking 18.5 credits for the Spring 2012 semester ||D I have to pay money for that extra .5 credit though... we have a maximum of 18 credits per semester. FML.
Anyways, I got all the classes I wanted, so that's the good news.
Except for that chem class. I'm a little upset by that... oh well.

4) ... there was another story. I got too caught up in the moment about the text message one. XD

W/e.

Off to bed with me! Sleep, how I miss you.

Breaaaaak

Just two more days DX

And within that time, I have another paper to write and a hearing on friday. Which hopefully I can get the two-on-three rhythmic pattern down in time... and the 10/8 rhythm....

And then its break! \o/

I shall get lots of pictures done, which will be nice... I haven't drawn in like, a couple of days, so I'm excited...


anyways, I need to write a paper that's due tomorrow. I haven't even started it yet (nor have I finished the book... who gives fucking book reports in college? Really?)

Let the B.Sing of papers commence!

This is what happens when I'm writing a term paper.

I've decided to try and push the entire thing with that boy away.

I can't be bothered by something like that right now... I really can't.

As much as I like him, I don't want to step on any toes. I don't want to pull him aside and tell him to stop talking to me, because I get the feeling he'll tell me that its just who he is: touchy-feely and just very friendly.
So I'm not going to think about it too much and move on with my life. Eventually something will happen.

... ugh, hold on, a song came up on my pandora that I detest...

Well, I'm not a big fan of Adele, but this'll do (considering it's titled "Someone Like You"... ha, funny how it fits, right?).


As I'm writing this, I have a newfound love for my character Lance again... he was, really, the first original character that was pretty damn good looking. And yet, despite his looks, he's seemed to have troubles with love and stuff like that. He's had a bunch of girlfriends in the past, but they all used him just to get what they want, and then they leave him behind. When he thought he found the one, she turned away and went to marry the man of her dreams, and his current love disappeared.
So to an extent, I kind of identify myself with him... I dunno why. Just with the way I feel towards romance at the moment. I'm not against it, I'm totally open to it, and I fall for practically anything... but something always turns me away. Doesn't matter if its rejection or if he has a girlfriend or whatnot.

So, tl;dr?

I'm trying to get over the guy in the post prior to this.

So, onto the why.
Because he has a girlfriend. I did (and this is going to sound so bad) some facebook stalking to see how long he and his girlfriend have been together, and its been over 2 years. So me being me, I feel bad for liking a guy who has been in a relationship that has not only lasted that long, but is a long-distance one at that. Not to mention that she posts on his wall every five minutes (not literally). In the end, it seems unlikely that they will break up (not that I was hoping for it to happen). And deep inside, its rather cute to see that a relationship is flourishing even though they're miles and hours apart.

In the long run, it really doesn't matter much. I should stop worrying about that and just... move on.

I have a term paper about Tchaikovsky to finish. However, it doesn't help the fact that all my sources mention that he's gay and his love life completely sucked.

I'm tired... I should like, finish doing what I'm doing and go to bed, and write what I can tomorrow during my breaks.

Le sigh.

So what do you do...

Let me get one thing out before I continue: I don't drink. I am a firm believer in the "No drinking until 21", but I'm not opposed to those who do drink under age. As much as I don't believe it's right, I don't fight people about it. I also have other reasons as to why I don't drink, but I won't go into detail about it.

Anyways... so, I'm making an effort to actually leave my room this year and not be a complete hermit (its actually a little funny to see peoples' reactions to me being at a party). I usually carry around a water or a soda just so I don't get dehydrated. So yeah...
      Then there's this guy. In the past, like for a while now, I've been making a big deal about no dating. I'm not interested in it, nor do I want to be in one. But that doesn't mean I'm closed off to it or I'm against romance (as a matter of fact, for those who know me well, most of what I do is romance XD).
      So this guy... I had a crush on him last year. Up until the point that my friend (who's friends with him) told me he has a girlfriend. So automatic "no touchy". But that didn't stop me from thinking he's cute. Because he is.
      Me being me, I'm dressed in jeans and a pull over thingy with a dark-colored cami under it. I'm that awesome. I don't get overly dressed up for these things... I mean, everyone is drunk. SO ANYWAYS, this boy sees me, waves at me, and then walks over to me. And talks to me. Like.... yeah. It took me a while to convince him that I've only been at my school for two years and that I wasn't a senior.
     I still think he was slightly drunk, but he insisted that he'd only had about 1-2 beers and wasn't tipsy at all. ... I didn't believe him, but that's okay.
     So red flag number one: while talking, he only really spoke to /me/, and no one else around me.
     Red flag number two: while talking to me, he would lean really close so that there wasn't much space between us.
     Now, I had to ask myself if I had friended him on Facebook (I hadn't), and I was curious to see if he still had a girlfriend. But me being me, I was still being cautious and not stepping over any lines. So I kept a casual conversation going. Then things started to get a little... weird for me, at least XD
    At some point, he grabbed my arm (not like violently, like, reassuringly) and told me that he would be right back and that he had to go find his roommate and make sure that he was okay. So he smiled and slowly walked away. Me, I went, "O-okay."
    I was a little upset that he walked away, and I continued being the wall-flower of the party and hung out by the light switch.
     He eventually came back and continued to talk to me, and like... every time he went to go check on his roommate, he would touch some part of my arm or my back and reassure me that he was going to be right back and that I shouldn't go anywhere. And if I was going to leave, I should tell him.

I eventually left without saying goodbye because I had to take care of my own roommate, so yeah.... I ended up friending him on facebook and found out that he's still dating the same girl. Guess who did a major face-plant on her desk and grumbled about it for the next week?

A few weeks later (so this would have been exactly a week ago now), he was at another party that I was at. Of course, tonight I heard that people are spreading rumors about me AGAIN about me "sleeping with a freshman", which isn't true... someone misinterpreted the meaning of "Hey So-and-so, you ready to go?" BUT ANYWAYS, that's besides the point.
    So, I saw him standing on the upper floor of this apartment, and I called up to him, and he told me to come up to talk to him. So I did...
   Before I continue: what I was wearing. I was wearing this kinda-short-but-not-really black dress with a green scarf around my arms and a black little purse (I was dressed up as the complete opposite of me (aka, a vocalist, according to my roommate)). My dress was sleeveless and kind of a halter-top, and was extremely low cut (... well, it like.... ... I can't describe dresses well, can I?)
    Now, said boy and I were talking for a little while. Somewhere in the midst of him talking, he kind of stared at me and went, "Wow, you look really nice tonight."
     I had no idea how to react, so I did my best to smile nicely and reply with a pleasant "thank you~"
     Then, a couple of his friends walked by, and he was all, "Well, I'm going to hit another two parties... but I'll be back!" And proceeds to place a hand on my shoulder. He keeps his hand there and just kind of... rubs my shoulder. And his smiiiile. His genuine smile DX
     Killer. KILLER. KIIIIILLLLER. The bitch in me was screaming to make a move, but I knew better. I'm not going to be like, "DUDE, IWANTTOMAKEOUTWITHYOU" and jump all over him. I just smiled and giggled and shit like that. I'm not going to cross over any lines, no matter HOW bad I want to.
    So, as he's leaving, he turns to me and goes, "You have my cell number, right?" and I'm like, "Yeeaah... yes! We exchanged numbers a while back because I was joking how I would text you at like, 3 in the morning about how bored I was and how I wouldn't be able to sleep!" (true fact! I never did text him, btw.) And he's all, "Well, if I don't see you again... text me so I know, and like... (pause) You look really nice tonight."
    I swear to god that if the lights were on, he'd see how much I was blushing.
   So, he ended up coming back, just as the party was like, ending (because the house was being written up for being loud), and he came over and talked to me. He wouldn't stop telling me how nice I looked and wouldn't /stop/ touching me. Like... he had to be touching my shoulder or my arm, or my back.
    I believe I failed to mention that every time he went to go somewhere without me, his hand would like, sliiiiide off my arm or back.

So onto part 3 of this story... on thursday, I walked by him in the hallway with the friend that was mentioned earlier on in this rant (the one who told me he was taken already). Of course, my friend walks up to him and like, air humps him. And he takes it (they've been friends for years, so I suppose that its okay to do this?), and I'm just standing there laughing.
    He walked by me after, and like.... touches/rubs my arm as he passes.
    And I freak out XD (not really, just like.... asfasd)
    I had explained the situation to his friend (we're like, besties right now, so all's good), and asked him if he was a flirty drunk, to which he responded "I dunno, actually... I've only been around him once while he was drunk, and I was drunk too, so I wouldn't know :D"
 
The whole thing is driving me crazy. And it shouldn't really.

But like... what's bothering me is the fact that whenever he and I are at a party, he has to be touching me. And he has a girlfriend. So I so BADLY want to be like, "Dude, I want to like... kiss you so bad right now." But I can't. I'm not that type of person.
   a) I don't want to cause a problem with him and his girlfriend.
   b) I don't randomly go up to guys I like and kiss them.
   c) I'm not a biddy. (if you have no idea what that is, look it up on UrbanDictionary XD) (.. or is it bitty? One of the two.)

I've talked to close friends about this, and some of them say that he's just a friendly person. Very few say that he likes me (the like-like). A couple say that he's just flirtatious.

I've been down this road before... and I HATE being down this road. Can I for ONCE find a guy who's NOT taken and I want to have these feelings for? XD God hates me, I swear. Quit throwing me curveballs, seriously.

I'm not making any moves, I swear. And I'm trying not to over analyze this.... it just bugs me that he has a girlfriend and is just... touching me. Unless a shoulder rub means that he's being friendly, then I'm a completely screwed up person. Or touching my lower back (not the butt).

I really really really want to believe he's being friendly. I really do. Maybe I'm just letting my own feelings get in the way again. Maybe I'm just a poor, confused person. Maybe I just like the idea that a guy is talking to me. And like, doesn't feel uncomfortable with me acting like a kid (which usually comes around as flirting to some people).



... WHAT THE HELL. That whole thing about people thinking I'm going out with a freshman kind of annoys me DX I'm tired of rumors being spread about me, really ;^;
First its me being a slut, and now the slut rumor is coming back... (long story short, some douche bag last year was telling people I slept with my ex, and then wanted to sleep with him...) I dunno. I hope it passes. This isn't fucking high school, people. And if they knew me, they would know that a) I'm not into guys younger than me and b) I don't randomly hook-up with people and c) I'm not that person -_-.

Dude, I haven't even had sex with anyone yet... then again, only certain people know that. I'm not afraid to admit it either... I'm just surprised people think that about me. Oh well. I just shouldn't go to social parties like that again for a while.


....

God, as much as I love College, I hate it at the same time. Mostly because some of the people here are still mentally high schoolers and spread rumors about others... mainly me. And I don't. Know. Why. What a way to start the weekend, right? =|

SO ANYWAYS.

What would you do about said boy? I'm not even sure if I like him and its just like... "Yaaaay, a guy is talking to meeeeee~~" or if its the friend vibe. I don't know. I confuse vibes a lot.

I need help.

I hope the counseling center here on campus gets back to me.

So you know...

I've been meaning to update this for a while now.

I kept on forgetting... I apologize.

So yeah. For those who don't know (and if I didn't clearly state in my previous entry), my parents bought me the student edition of Photoshop CS5.
I can't tell you how excited I am to be able to use the program again...  I needed it for a project at first, so now I just have it.

OH. For those who want to see what its being used for, go and watch my concert this saturday at 8:15 (EST)!
Here's the link for the live webcast: http://www.ithaca.edu/music/live/
I believe that a link will appear by the first date there (the Symphonic Band and Jazz Band) on saturday. So please watch and tell me what you think!!! I won't be playing in one of the movements of our first piece, just because I will be working my presentation. Hopefully everything will run smooth... (it didn't today).

Uhm... anyways, even though its like, 12 AM, I should probably go look over some of my stuff for class tomorrow... I'll ttyl!