Meh meh meh

Just Meh.

Yeah really, right?

I know its like... totally 2 AM right now (my post thingy lies, by the way. I don't know why its like... 2 hours off), but I figured that I probably won't have any other time to update, since I'm like... out all day.
And not sleeping the entire day again.

But yeah. So, my mom asked me to go to this garden tour with her, so I thought I should do it... I mean, I get to go to the craft store afterwards and pick up two other sketch pads (one is to be used for the 100 Themes... rather, the last... 40 themes of it lol, and the other is for a comic a friend of mine and I are working on), and maybe a trip to Barnes and Nobles (since there are no more Borders closest to us, so I can't hit the clearance sales...)

I'm totally pissed that Borders is going away, just fyi. I loved Borders. Oh well...

I'm writing this while I'm like, half asleep. I'm gonna hit the hay after this... just so I can wake up in 7 hours to take a shower and go on this garden tour thingy with my mom.

And then, after that, I have the third showing of The Wiz that my high school is putting on (I got hired to play in the pit, haha). And I'm kind of... like... not in the mood to go?
Remember that loooong rant-post that I posted... a couple of days ago? My friend and I talked it out (as I did with my mom)... well, not the guy, a girl friend and I. I explained my thoughts exactly... and I figured out what I needed to do.

I'm not happy that I'm going to go through with telling him that I don't want to date him, but... I don't want to lead him on. I don't want to leave him with a "..." kind of closure... and it will be hard telling someone that you just want to be friends. I don't want him to wait on me to come around, because I, honest to god, told myself that I'm not interested in dating anyone at the moment.
I'm upset that I have to tell him this because, well, I just met him a couple of months ago. He's a totally sweet person and like... I feel bad. Because I do like him, just... I need to sort out feelings in my head. Usually, when things like this happen, I need time to figure out if I like him as a friend or as something more. I'm pretty sure I know where these feelings of mine are going, but at the same time... I don't. I'm excited that he's coming to see me play today (I hesitated in saying tomorrow, since tomorrow is today...), but in reality, I'm not sure if I'm excited that he's going to see /me/ or if I get to show off my trombone skills (or my lack thereof). But anyways, its hard, but its easy. Its easy to tell a guy that you don't want to date or make things... weird if you date them, because you hardly know them just yet. But its hard because the state of the friendship is... you know, still young?
I don't want to lose him as a friend because I was a total bitch in rejecting him... I guess in all honesty, I'm afraid of how he's going to react. To know that he likes me (I do know this because of several reasons), and then to take the heart that he's offering me and return it to him. I've had to do this in the past... but not like this. My grammar isn't making any sense whatsoever, is it? Well, I'll probably be writing a sob post about it later, after I return from The Wiz later tonight...

Anyways, you don't have to read that little blurb. I need a space to vent about the whole thing, and unfortunately, you guys are getting the entire thing.
I'm stressed out about it, and I really shouldn't be. But I am.

God, I'm a walking contradiction.


Anyways.

Has anyone realized how often I use the word "anyways"? Maybe I should start using "ahem" instead... (shrugs).

I'll return to posting the 100 Themes pictures soon, I just need this week to be over.
And before I forget, I kinda... forgot (haha) to post the link to Someone To Watch Over Me in my last post. The site is still under construction.... I haven't decided if I like the layout of it or not... anywho, here's the link: http://stwom.smackjeeves.com/

And for those who are interested in the other comic I mentioned, its a BL manga (just a heads up); I'm not all into shounen-ai, but these are two of our characters in our RP (the same RP that Forseth is in, just different time zones, so... it occurs before StWOM). Here's the link if you are interested: http://awdbd.smackjeeves.com/
God, I gotta fix Lexiant's face in the banner.... I'll do that later this week... its going to bother me otherwise.

I am offering you guys to friend me on facebook, so if you would like to friend me, send me a note or an email, and I will send you my name and such.
Though a slight warning: my facebook status isn't much better than it is here. I'm just as moody and temperamental.

In the meantime, enjoy this video about Blow-Out Sales at a Furniture Store (its actually really funny, I'm not kidding):




And if you want a special message, lemme know. Or if it actually becomes worthy news, I'll post about it later. All my LEGO/Bionicle friends are gonna be like "HAHA" and "Saw THAT coming". All depends on if my friend's boss likes me... 8'D