I look forward to coming home and spending time with my family.
Just right now, I want to go back to school and just sit in my dorm room where I don't have to fucking worry whether my parents are actually going to split or not. Where I don't have to hear their arguments up in my room.
I'm canceling my plans for Wednesday and Thursday, just to make sure that my mom is okay.
... I'm looking forward to that therapy session when I get back to school.
I've been home for less than a fucking week, and I already have to deal with this shit again.
...
Its eerily quiet in my house right now.
I either want out, or I just want to sit and cry while listening to the rain hit my windows and wind break branches.
That was incredibly emo.
I apologize.
...
nope, nevermind. The argument continues.
I can't escape from my room either because, to be perfectly honest, I'm terrified.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Laryngitis!
Anyways. I do sound different, I promise. XD
Thursday, December 8, 2011
An update.
So this week has been... interesting, to say the least.
On friday of last week, one of my fellow classmates got into a car accident around 2 AM (Saturday) and passed away. I didn't find out until much later that day (while I was working), and I was in complete shock about the entire thing. I didn't want to believe it.
I... wish I had known him better. From what I knew (because he was in a couple of my classes), he was an AMAZING musician and person in general. He might have been quiet, but his presence lit up the room.
To see everyone so upset is so touching; to see an entire community so divided before suddenly become connected in ways you cannot imagine is amazing. I spent monday and tuesday of this week really depressed because of the whole thing... it has gotten to the point where I don't want to go to my 8 AM Flute Class tomorrow because he was in it. I spoke to him the morning he passed away. I was in awe how much he had improved on the flute, because a week before he couldn't make one note through it... and suddenly, while he was performing, there was a sound. He honest to god worked at everything he did. and it paid off. Regardless, I don't want to go to the class, because I know what will happen: I'll cry. He won't be there.
On tuesday, I was standing around in what we call Brass Alley here at Ithaca, and out of nowhere the old Tuba Professor was standing there talking to his old Tuba and Euphonium studio. It dawned on me then that he had posted a facebook status saying that he was going to come in to see his old studio... now, he was here teaching last year; he had an early retirement because his cancer came back, and he needed to get it removed and such. He taught the boy who died for two-three years.
What struck me then, as he walked away to meet the professor who was filling his spot, was that he, the professor, was not in good health. To have a student who was in perfect health and everything die before you... it must be such a sad feeling... and to not see him before he passed away for a couple of months... its just... its really sad.
I watched the professor stop in the middle of the hallway and lean up against a wall to rub his eyes and take a breather.
I cried.
I keep thinking that he is going to walk through those doors and be like, "Hey guys! I'm still here." and pick up his Euphonium and play with us in band. But I know that its not going to happen...
In his Honor, we played an arrangement of Amazing Grace (that I had part in) with our band (he was in it), and in Chorus, we are singing O Magnum Mysterium. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn5ken3RJBo ) YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO THAT IF YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD THIS VERSION. It was his favorite piece... everyone was having such a hard time trying not to cry while performing these pieces.
We left his seat empty and sitting there in band.
I just want you all to be safe this holiday season. Don't make stupid decisions and think before you do something. Don't make long trips that you know you can't make after either a long day or alone. Just don't do it.
Scratch that.
Be safe whenever you are driving. I know you can't control the world around you and what happens there, but at least you yourself will be a safe driver.
On friday of last week, one of my fellow classmates got into a car accident around 2 AM (Saturday) and passed away. I didn't find out until much later that day (while I was working), and I was in complete shock about the entire thing. I didn't want to believe it.
I... wish I had known him better. From what I knew (because he was in a couple of my classes), he was an AMAZING musician and person in general. He might have been quiet, but his presence lit up the room.
To see everyone so upset is so touching; to see an entire community so divided before suddenly become connected in ways you cannot imagine is amazing. I spent monday and tuesday of this week really depressed because of the whole thing... it has gotten to the point where I don't want to go to my 8 AM Flute Class tomorrow because he was in it. I spoke to him the morning he passed away. I was in awe how much he had improved on the flute, because a week before he couldn't make one note through it... and suddenly, while he was performing, there was a sound. He honest to god worked at everything he did. and it paid off. Regardless, I don't want to go to the class, because I know what will happen: I'll cry. He won't be there.
On tuesday, I was standing around in what we call Brass Alley here at Ithaca, and out of nowhere the old Tuba Professor was standing there talking to his old Tuba and Euphonium studio. It dawned on me then that he had posted a facebook status saying that he was going to come in to see his old studio... now, he was here teaching last year; he had an early retirement because his cancer came back, and he needed to get it removed and such. He taught the boy who died for two-three years.
What struck me then, as he walked away to meet the professor who was filling his spot, was that he, the professor, was not in good health. To have a student who was in perfect health and everything die before you... it must be such a sad feeling... and to not see him before he passed away for a couple of months... its just... its really sad.
I watched the professor stop in the middle of the hallway and lean up against a wall to rub his eyes and take a breather.
I cried.
I keep thinking that he is going to walk through those doors and be like, "Hey guys! I'm still here." and pick up his Euphonium and play with us in band. But I know that its not going to happen...
In his Honor, we played an arrangement of Amazing Grace (that I had part in) with our band (he was in it), and in Chorus, we are singing O Magnum Mysterium. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn5ken3RJBo ) YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO THAT IF YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD THIS VERSION. It was his favorite piece... everyone was having such a hard time trying not to cry while performing these pieces.
We left his seat empty and sitting there in band.
I just want you all to be safe this holiday season. Don't make stupid decisions and think before you do something. Don't make long trips that you know you can't make after either a long day or alone. Just don't do it.
Scratch that.
Be safe whenever you are driving. I know you can't control the world around you and what happens there, but at least you yourself will be a safe driver.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Haha, I have a blog, don't I?
I keep on neglecting to update my blog.
This is bad. Haha...
I didn't get the amount of artwork I wanted to get done over break. Oh well... I blame Assassin's Creed: Revelations. I bought it, and I had just a few hours to beat it, since my mom was upset that I bought a video game (claimed that I wouldn't "spend time with the family", so I was determined to beat it before the day of Thanksgiving... which did happen.) So many hours spent sitting on a couch, holding a Xbox 360 controller.
Anyways, I'm just going to briefly update this so I can go practice for another 30 minutes on my trombone.
Not like anyone reads this anyways. Ha.
... and I was reminded that I still have a 100 themes list going on. I should probably finish that.
Have I also mentioned how amazing Laser Printer paper is? And cardstock? So amazing. They're so smooth and nice to draw on... Ha. Haha... I'm going insane, I swear. I'm obsessed with paper and pens. Is that a bad thing?
I also managed to forget that I had a CAPS (the therapist) appointment today, and went to go practice instead. Stupid me... (/hits head). Oh well; I didn't get the voice message or phone call until it was too late to go to the appointment, so I sent them an apology email (since the phone number they gave me was incorrect ||D).
In the meantime, I'm going to go practice a little while longer, then go to my 4 PM class, and then... well, draw for a little while. Maybe I'll do some pictures for the 100 themes. I might change Atonement to a written theme though... because I'm having trouble coming up with a single picture idea. (Or perhaps I'll do a one page comic)...
And for those looking forward to the Bionicle Manga being brought back, I haz some questions:
1) I might switch it all to JUST digital. But it will still look like a sketch, maybe... would that be okay?
2) If I changed it to JUST the Beginnings story that I had posted on dA a looong time ago... would you all be upset? I feel odd doing a comic on the existing story line, where as I will have more freedom to move around with the Beginnings, since TECHNICALLY I wrote it, with Bionicle characters in it. =|
3) If you would like to color pages if I decide to do just B&W, would anyone like to color it? I'll give you the account to Tahu_Sensei (he's not a real person XD he was created to bitch at people bitching on my comic page).
I keep on meaning to post the next page for it, I think... I might do a 4-Koma first, and then get back to it. Maybe.
I STILL NEED TO DO PAGES FOR THE OTHER TWO COMICS. AUUUGH. XD
... anyways, back to practicing.
ONWARDS.
This is bad. Haha...
I didn't get the amount of artwork I wanted to get done over break. Oh well... I blame Assassin's Creed: Revelations. I bought it, and I had just a few hours to beat it, since my mom was upset that I bought a video game (claimed that I wouldn't "spend time with the family", so I was determined to beat it before the day of Thanksgiving... which did happen.) So many hours spent sitting on a couch, holding a Xbox 360 controller.
Anyways, I'm just going to briefly update this so I can go practice for another 30 minutes on my trombone.
Not like anyone reads this anyways. Ha.
... and I was reminded that I still have a 100 themes list going on. I should probably finish that.
Have I also mentioned how amazing Laser Printer paper is? And cardstock? So amazing. They're so smooth and nice to draw on... Ha. Haha... I'm going insane, I swear. I'm obsessed with paper and pens. Is that a bad thing?
I also managed to forget that I had a CAPS (the therapist) appointment today, and went to go practice instead. Stupid me... (/hits head). Oh well; I didn't get the voice message or phone call until it was too late to go to the appointment, so I sent them an apology email (since the phone number they gave me was incorrect ||D).
In the meantime, I'm going to go practice a little while longer, then go to my 4 PM class, and then... well, draw for a little while. Maybe I'll do some pictures for the 100 themes. I might change Atonement to a written theme though... because I'm having trouble coming up with a single picture idea. (Or perhaps I'll do a one page comic)...
And for those looking forward to the Bionicle Manga being brought back, I haz some questions:
1) I might switch it all to JUST digital. But it will still look like a sketch, maybe... would that be okay?
2) If I changed it to JUST the Beginnings story that I had posted on dA a looong time ago... would you all be upset? I feel odd doing a comic on the existing story line, where as I will have more freedom to move around with the Beginnings, since TECHNICALLY I wrote it, with Bionicle characters in it. =|
3) If you would like to color pages if I decide to do just B&W, would anyone like to color it? I'll give you the account to Tahu_Sensei (he's not a real person XD he was created to bitch at people bitching on my comic page).
I keep on meaning to post the next page for it, I think... I might do a 4-Koma first, and then get back to it. Maybe.
I STILL NEED TO DO PAGES FOR THE OTHER TWO COMICS. AUUUGH. XD
... anyways, back to practicing.
ONWARDS.
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